When People Suck . . .

People Suck When . . .

Mar
15

Scrape My Horn – A Eulogy of Romance

Posted under Lost Causes by Angry Lioness

I sometimes wonder if chivalry and romance have died off completely. Are we so despondent as a society that a $5 card from Wal-Mart passes as a Romantic Gesture?  Don’t get me wrong, a card is nice, but how much of yourself really goes into it?  Do you really sit and read the cards until you find one that seems to suck the emotion out of your soul and say to yourself, “This is the one; this is the card to give the love of my life”. I didn’t think so.
Do men honestly believe that a woman wants to hear things like, “Hey baby, Wanna scrape my horn?”  Or, perhaps more boldly and with even less class, “Wanna F*ck?” or “Lets Bump Uglies & lick stinkies”, or any range of other ridiculous statements.

Really?   REALLY?

This is your choice statement for expressing your wanton desire to someone you supposedly love? This is your idea of turning your lady on, of igniting her passion until her most primal instincts swell within her and she is unable to contain herself any longer . . . Um, NO. What this does, dear sir, is cause your lady to roll her eyes and if she can even bring herself to “Do the deed”, she’ll fake an orgasm like you faked romance.

Gentlemen, let me take a moment to crudely explain something to you in terms that you can understand,  A woman is like a frying pan, you have to heat her up before you stick your meat in.

If you want a woman to rock your world, to take your every desire into consideration, you can start by telling her you appreciate all the things she does for you, that you find her beauty to be unsurpassed. You can start by making her feel like she’s important to you, rather than an afterthought. That while you may have had other woman in the past, there’s no comparison to what you have Now, with her; And if….. IF You don’t believe that, than Jack, just do her a favor, open the damn door, walk through it and don’t let it hit you in the backside on your way out, because she doesn’t need another intolerable, inconsiderate, self absorbing ass in her life, I can guarantee she’s experienced too many of those already.

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