When People Suck . . .

People Suck When . . .

Mar
24

Nucking’ Futs’ gone have I

Posted under I'm Over It by Angry Lioness

Today’s Revelation, I’m Nucking Futs.  Please forgive me for I have sinned, it’s been 32 years since my last confession…

Where to start.. I was pacing the floor this morning, half out of my mind with a panicky feeling that something was seriously not right, but at the same time trying to maintain some semblance of a sane or at least somewhat rational mind.    (Incidently, that was relieved by learning a family member had given birth but nearly went into cardiac arrest during the process <both she and babe are now fine>). A rather frightening disclosure that managed to alleviate that panic.

As if that weren’t quite enough I was compelled to delve into my past, take a look at my warped view of something that I had long since buried deep within the pit of my being and be damned if I didn’t finally come to the conclusion that I have a tendency to view various circumstances with my inner senses rather than logically.  Why is it that I find I have a propensity to rationalize things emotionally rather than with lucid, logical explanations?

Why can I look at the very same situation with different people & come to a clear and concise point of view, yet I am completely unable to view myself in that same light?! How did I become so self depricating and not even realize it? And why, pray tell, did it take me this long to see it?

So I spent the better part of late afternoon mulling over a plethora of events in my life,  (flashes of hell, if you will), reconsidering every irrational, disturbed perspective I have ever placed upon myself and I was dumbstruck. Had ANY friend of mine, at ANY time in her life divulged to me the arguments that I uttered to myself I would have set her straight Immediately, without question, as was done with me.  How is it that I was unable, (perhaps Unwilling) to do this for my own piece of mind?

What salient reason could there be?  I know who I am, as a woman, I know what I want, I know where I want to be in life, at least, I did know these things. Now, I’m wondering several things- Why do I stand in the way of my own happiness, because essentially, I AM the only thing in my Own Way! What the Hell is Wrong with Me?!

Revelation #1- Self Deprication – I suppose my (lousy excuse for doing this would be)  if I point out my bad points, as I see them, to everyone else, they wont have the chance and we can all just get on with the business of life.  This whole business of self deprication is utterly ridiculous, “no one can you make you feel inferior without your consent” (E.Roosevelt).

Revelation #2- Friends are like bras- close to your heart and there for support

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