When People Suck . . .

People Suck When . . .

Archive for April, 2008

Apr
21

Beltane Blues

Posted under Lost Causes by Angry Lioness

First, I’ve got to say that I am rather disappointed in the lack of celebration during Beltane.  I realize that you, dear reader, may not be familiar with Beltane, which is a major holiday for Pagans like myself who celebrate the Wheel of the Year (which consists of eight Sabbats. Four are Solar in nature, and four are Lunar in nature; all mark the passing of the year with natural milestones.) For additional clarification, all the sabbats are either Major or Minor, the major Sabbats being Samhain, Imbolc, Beltane, and Lughnasadh. The minor Sabbats being Yule (Winter Solstice), Ostara (Spring Equinox), Litha (Summer Solstice) and Mabon (Autumn Equinox).
If you’re not pagan/wiccan/druid or any other earth based religion, you might recognize Beltane as May Day. For me, this day symbolizes life’s ability to renew itself. Love is in the air, so to speak, the earth is brimming of fecundity and life. In years passed I have participated in delightful ceremonies in which a Maypole (a rather phallic symbol representing the masculine aspect) was erected and bright ribbons in a range of soft colors (representing the feminine aspect) were hung from it, symbolizing the union of the God and Goddess, whilst we danced in joy and mirth to eccentric music that permeated my soul with peace. To me the Maypole is not only a traditional “fertility” symbol, but is also the time to fertilize ones dreams with action. This fire festival is by far one of my favorite Sabbats, and means a great deal to me for many reasons I won’t bore you with.
I suppose this is why I was so frustrated that I felt as though I must celebrate such an important occasion alone, suppressing my thoughts and desires from those around me, both family and friends. I found myself torn, wanting to bare a part of my soul, to emphatically express what I felt, to at least attempt to convey what it means to me and why, yet I found that I besieged myself with arguments -personal torments if you will- as to why I shouldn’t express my beliefs.

First, what is the point of explaining to others what you believe when it is clear that they not only don’t share your beliefs, but may lose what little respect they have for you? Why put yourself out there only to have someone look down their nose at you in a condescending manner as they inaudibly express a “humph” at your beliefs while not so secretly hoping they can “bring you around” to their own spiritual awakenings, if you will.
Secondly, I have no desire to push my beliefs onto anyone else… I feel that I’ve spent years discovering my own path and one must make that journey on their own. How is spirituality meaningful if you’re merely going through the motions of someone else’s truth?
And Finally, to me, it needs to be what you believe, it must infiltrate your being, it must fulfill something within oneself. If your spirituality doesn’t satiate your entire being, than you are on the wrong path. If you must be reminded by someone else that the holiday even exists, than perhaps that path is not for you at all, perhaps your journey is not yet over.

So I sit here, aching to fiercely celebrate this Sabbat, to share the joy, love, renewal, prolificacy that is Beltane, yet I must quell my own exigent state. For this reason, I am angry today.

Apr
11

Exhaustion, Alzheimers at 31?

Posted under Things that Piss me Off by Angry Lioness

Lately I find myself beyond exhaustion by the time I finally crawl into bed at night, but still lie awake pondering the events of the day, wondering whether I should’ve done things differently.  I continually find myself filled with an altruism that I can’t even find words to properly express, yet, when the actual moment comes to convey it, I lose my frigging mind, draw a blank, go completely numb if you will.

Take today for instance, a good friend of mine felt like shit this afternoon and although it was at the forefront of my mind, when said friend called me back, I neglected to ask whether they felt better or not. WTF? How can I have that single thought running through my head, causing angst, running through all the scenarios as to what is causing the ailment and what I can do to alleviate it, thinking of every herbal remedy I know of and where they may lay their hands upon said remedy~ only to completely forget once I hear their voice?  It was mentioned several minutes later, following another conversation having nothing whatsoever to do with health and here I am, several hours later, with that same ill feeling in the pit of my stomach wondering what the hell is wrong with me! Have I grown that insensitive?  That anesthetic and insensate to others feelings that I can’t even think to ask how they’re feeling? It was right there- hell the only thing on my mind before that phone rang, but the second I answered, Poof the Alzheimers dust landed.

Then, on top of it, said confidant offered me some advice on dealing with an unruly child that was truly making the day miserable, a calm amidst the storm, so to speak, and once again, I find myself wanting to say thank you- but those words are not enough; They’re hollow and cannot portray what I feel.

So, the angry lioness is once again angry, this time, with herself, rather than any external force or situation. I’m angry at my inability to verbally Vocalize the actual words, “THANK YOU”, without looking at the floor! I’m angry that I lack the ability to articulate myself eloquently in the situations that I  have the inclination to. I’m angry at myself for not living up to my simple expectations, but mostly, I’m angry that I neglected to put my friend first.

Apr
10

The IRS can Suck My . .

Posted under Things that Piss me Off by Angry Lioness

Big Calloused toe. I’ve been sitting here pouring over receipts, tax forms, 1099’s, W2’s, dividend reports, you name it, It’s in this stack of crap on my desk, awaiting my half burned out retina’s to scan through and decipher the useful crap from the useless crap. It all still comes down to one thing, it’s all still Bullshit in the end.

So.. when is this country going realize that we’ve become a consumer nation and as a consumer nation it’s about time that we changed our view of how we handle Taxes. Quite frankly my dear, I, for one, am damn sick of spending copious amounts of my time reviewing the latest laws, searching for deductions that don’t amount to shit.

Personally, I think we ought to dissolve the IRS completely, No Income taxes at all. Rather than penalize those that are willing to bust their ass for a living,  I would prefer to see a tax on goods, (for example sake, say 4%). Which essentially means, if you pay $10,000 for a car- you pay a 4% tax on it to the government, if you buy a 100,000 Hummer, you still pay 4% tax on it.

The tax should not apply to certain items, those items being Groceries and Fuel, but Should apply to all other goods (Homes, Property, Vehicles, consumer Crap- the shit you buy at walmart/Target/insert your favorite store here).

Why? Because instead of a few Americans paying in taxes EVERYONE would be forced to pay taxes.  It would remove the attack against the poor complaints and the attack against the rich complaints. If you want to buy crap, pay for it.

All the (millions) of illegals in the US would be paying taxes- they’d have no choice.. they’re here, they’re going to buy “stuff”. I don’t give a rats ass how big of a wall you build between here and Mexico, this country is always going to have an influx of illegals, you might as well generate some revenue off them.

The US would save BILLIONS of dollars by removing the IRS. Think of all the man hours that would no longer have to be paid and the amount of stress that people go through filing taxes- the depression subscriptions that would drop. Incidentally, this would also ensure funding for both Social Security and Medicare, allow people to retain their entire paycheck, and brings accountability to the tax policy- something it has been lacking for quite some time.

People that are Frugal, that aren’t stuck in consumerism hell would be the ones that paid the least. If you’re happy with buying a used car, the tax was already paid, you’re all set. Maybe it would make otherwise greedy people think twice about wasting the resources at their fat little fingertips. Obviously- we live in a society of Gimmee, Gimmee, Gimmee, I want it and I want it right NOW. If you live within your means then you will pay less in taxes, period.

But since our current tax system is completely fucked, I’m off to make yet another pot of coffee & spend god knows how many more hours searching thoroughly for every deduction I qualify for.

IRS, this ones for you:

Apr
09

How Perfectly Zen of Me . . .

Posted under Things that Piss me Off by Angry Lioness

Today was the epitome of a long day, I spent most of the day as a chaperone of a field trip for a large group of middle school students. In all honesty, I was rather shocked, because generally, I’ve found that I dont enjoy other peoples children. Perhaps that sounds crass to other parents, or perhaps you’re sitting in your chair nodding your head in understanding agreement.  Today, however, I found that I rather did enjoy their company. This particular group of students are the top in their class and I found them to be bright, articulate, humorous, and well mannered.

So, as I sit here, AC DC’s Hells Bells blaring in the background (thank You Zach for the reminder of how Great AC/DC is), I’m finding myself once again reflecting on previously held opinions and ruminating where these drastic changes are emanating from.

Have I simply given in to the soft side- a “Suck it up Buttercup” point of view- it is what it is and you’d better just enjoy it while you can…

Or is it that I’ve discovered things that previously stirred anger within me are no longer triggers, therefor I could care less…

Or, is it perhaps, that I truly see these things as gifts, lifes blessings if you will….

I know the latter is the most difficult rumination of all to believe, at least for me.

This entire day was a head trip. How could it not be, I mean, recall your high school days, obvious cliques, the preps, the geeks, the goths… now picture them all together on a single bus. Presto, you have just experienced my day.

From watching a mini-me of a good friend in days past… and finding myself wanting to prevent history from repeating itself… to (well now, It appears my time to blog has come to an end, sorry folks, you’ll have to come back later for the rest of Today’s Revelation!)