When People Suck . . .

People Suck When . . .

Apr
21

Beltane Blues

Posted under Lost Causes by Angry Lioness

First, I’ve got to say that I am rather disappointed in the lack of celebration during Beltane.  I realize that you, dear reader, may not be familiar with Beltane, which is a major holiday for Pagans like myself who celebrate the Wheel of the Year (which consists of eight Sabbats. Four are Solar in nature, and four are Lunar in nature; all mark the passing of the year with natural milestones.) For additional clarification, all the sabbats are either Major or Minor, the major Sabbats being Samhain, Imbolc, Beltane, and Lughnasadh. The minor Sabbats being Yule (Winter Solstice), Ostara (Spring Equinox), Litha (Summer Solstice) and Mabon (Autumn Equinox).
If you’re not pagan/wiccan/druid or any other earth based religion, you might recognize Beltane as May Day. For me, this day symbolizes life’s ability to renew itself. Love is in the air, so to speak, the earth is brimming of fecundity and life. In years passed I have participated in delightful ceremonies in which a Maypole (a rather phallic symbol representing the masculine aspect) was erected and bright ribbons in a range of soft colors (representing the feminine aspect) were hung from it, symbolizing the union of the God and Goddess, whilst we danced in joy and mirth to eccentric music that permeated my soul with peace. To me the Maypole is not only a traditional “fertility” symbol, but is also the time to fertilize ones dreams with action. This fire festival is by far one of my favorite Sabbats, and means a great deal to me for many reasons I won’t bore you with.
I suppose this is why I was so frustrated that I felt as though I must celebrate such an important occasion alone, suppressing my thoughts and desires from those around me, both family and friends. I found myself torn, wanting to bare a part of my soul, to emphatically express what I felt, to at least attempt to convey what it means to me and why, yet I found that I besieged myself with arguments -personal torments if you will- as to why I shouldn’t express my beliefs.

First, what is the point of explaining to others what you believe when it is clear that they not only don’t share your beliefs, but may lose what little respect they have for you? Why put yourself out there only to have someone look down their nose at you in a condescending manner as they inaudibly express a “humph” at your beliefs while not so secretly hoping they can “bring you around” to their own spiritual awakenings, if you will.
Secondly, I have no desire to push my beliefs onto anyone else… I feel that I’ve spent years discovering my own path and one must make that journey on their own. How is spirituality meaningful if you’re merely going through the motions of someone else’s truth?
And Finally, to me, it needs to be what you believe, it must infiltrate your being, it must fulfill something within oneself. If your spirituality doesn’t satiate your entire being, than you are on the wrong path. If you must be reminded by someone else that the holiday even exists, than perhaps that path is not for you at all, perhaps your journey is not yet over.

So I sit here, aching to fiercely celebrate this Sabbat, to share the joy, love, renewal, prolificacy that is Beltane, yet I must quell my own exigent state. For this reason, I am angry today.

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